Monday, October 22, 2012

Leaping and Not Leaping


It's been a while since I posted. Sometimes, what I need to write has to steep in silence for a while before it finally bubbles up from the depths of my mind.

What follows is an e-mail I recently wrote to a friend of mine. It just poured out, and I feel the need to pour it out here as well:


I want to take a step in a new direction, but I guess I'm still afraid to take that required leap. It's like trying to force the trees to bud out after a long Winter. Despite my impatience, the trees just keep hitting snooze. But then one day, a green haze washes over the forest. I'm waiting for my green haze...impatiently. I can see the future me, and how fantastically free I will be. Technically, I'm already the future me;but that's another discussion entirely. It's the waiting...the process that's dull and painful. But painful processes are great teachers and character builders. They're what makes us who we are. I guess what I'm saying is that I need to be more friendly to my life's processes. 

I've been trying to get myself in the habit of maintaining a mental state of allowance - allowing life to happen, rather than trying to shape it too much. Interestingly enough, this is a concept I've been lead to through my practice of magic.When you hear people say "the world changes at the individual level," there is something deeper they're saying (often without realizing it). There is an inward landscape within each of us that must be allowed to unfold. When we can finally clearly see the inward shapes of our dreams and desires, we must then learn to accept them and shape what we do outwardly in accordance with the shape of what's within us. It's basically aligning yourself with what's already there. Through this alignment, manifestation is possible. Hope I'm making sense here. Discovering your TRUE will is no easy task. Accepting it and aligning your actions with it is even more difficult. The outside world seeks to suppress this within us, to the point where such a task seems completely impossible. And so, we stop dreaming. We stop looking at our inward landscape, and finally, we end up resisting it entirely. This resistance is what creates all the sorrow we feel. 

You have a great teacher sitting in your living room floor, playing with his Legos. At his age, your son acts from a place of his inner landscape. His dreams easily manifest, because he has not yet been fully suppressed by society. If there is a dragon in his inner landscape, he manifests this dragon in this world through the tools available to him. He does this without a second thought to other's opinions. He does this without fear. The mind of a child is the mind of pure human-beingness (not a word, I know). They represent all of which we are capable of doing and being. Pure potential and emotion, unscathed by societal pressures and structural "normality." They understand so much more than we do, because they have not yet been taught to forget how to understand. The understanding we knew as children was gradually carved away via our corrupt education systems, and societal and cultural pressures. Thus, our capacity for magic and realizing our true potential is systematically destroyed. The majority of people mourn the loss of these abilities their entire lives. But there are ways to recapture them, and this is my main goal: To recapture my capacity for magic and ABSOLUTE freedom of pursuing my true will. But my goal isn't selfish. I don't just want this for myself. Through this pursuit, through this change at the individual level, the outward landscape of this world will be changed as well.

2 comments:

Jamie Potter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jamie Potter said...

this is so awesome. i have been facing this issue for, well, most of my life. what i 'had' until i was four years old is something i have been reaching for, ever since, but am somehow blinded, being forced to feel for it (i am scorpio 1973) and cannot get a really good grasp on it, good enough to pull it in to where i am now. i find that this article is in touch with my needs as a person, and no one has been brave enough to speak of this, until you. thank you for sharing.